Yesterday

Tuesday I get a phone call. A classmate of mine just lost her mother and the levayah is at 1. I contemplated what to do. Do I go? Do I just go for a shiva call? I decided that since I am at work already and I haven’t seen her in many years and don’t have much to do with her. And that she was only in grade school with me, I will go make a shiva call to her this week instead of going to the levaya as well, where she will not see me. Her mother was sick for a year and half. Right after they moved to a new place. BH. She wouldn’t have been able to handle the stairs in the old place and the new apartment had an elevator. Hashem watches over us and sends a Refuah before the makah.

I called a friend of mine who went to school with her as well and we made plans to meet and go together. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be recognized or recognize the girl. When we go to the shiva house, she asked me quietly which of the three ladies wearing snoods was her. I recognized her right away. When we got closer our friend nodded her head and said my name. She recognized me right away. My friend asked her if she recognized her as well, and she said her name too. The friend who came with was impressed. After all we graduated high school 15 years ago! I am told that my face is the same and hasn’t changed. This appears to be true when I have people recognize me from when I was very little. I am not sure how to take that.

We talked a little but mostly sat there and listened to a few others talk to her older sister. Her older sister was in my older sisters class (yes, I do have an older sister) and I did send her my sister’s condolences. I got to meet some other girls who were in my sister’s class and one who told me wonderful news. Her sister that was in my class as well just got married a few weeks ago! I was so happy to hear that. Come to think of it, there apparently were a few of us with older siblings. At least four of us had sisters in the same class, meaning they are seven years older than us. The other half of the class were the oldest. Some had a sister a grade or two older and the rest, were in the middle of the family or only child.

As we shmoozed a little there, we got to update her on what is going on in our lives. She moved out of town and happens to know my oldest brother in law. She knew a lot about me via my cousin who went to high school with her (which is how I heard about her mother). The friend who came with me updated her on her life. We did the right thing by going. It is important to go to make a shiva call to people even if you are afraid that they will not remember you or you don’t know them so well. I think I will try to make more of an effort to go to people as it does help.

Yesterday

Tuesday I get a phone call. A classmate of mine just lost her mother and the levayah is at 1. I contemplated what to do. Do I go? Do I just go for a shiva call? I decided that since I am at work already and I haven’t seen her in many years and don’t have much to do with her. And that she was only in grade school with me, I will go make a shiva call to her this week instead of going to the levaya as well, where she will not see me. Her mother was sick for a year and half. Right after they moved to a new place. BH. She wouldn’t have been able to handle the stairs in the old place and the new apartment had an elevator. Hashem watches over us and sends a Refuah before the makah.

I called a friend of mine who went to school with her as well and we made plans to meet and go together. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be recognized or recognize the girl. When we go to the shiva house, she asked me quietly which of the three ladies wearing snoods was her. I recognized her right away. When we got closer our friend nodded her head and said my name. She recognized me right away. My friend asked her if she recognized her as well, and she said her name too. The friend who came with was impressed. After all we graduated high school 15 years ago! I am told that my face is the same and hasn’t changed. This appears to be true when I have people recognize me from when I was very little. I am not sure how to take that.

We talked a little but mostly sat there and listened to a few others talk to her older sister. Her older sister was in my older sisters class (yes, I do have an older sister) and I did send her my sister’s condolences. I got to meet some other girls who were in my sister’s class and one who told me wonderful news. Her sister that was in my class as well just got married a few weeks ago! I was so happy to hear that. Come to think of it, there apparently were a few of us with older siblings. At least four of us had sisters in the same class, meaning they are seven years older than us. The other half of the class were the oldest. Some had a sister a grade or two older and the rest, were in the middle of the family or only child.

As we shmoozed a little there, we got to update her on what is going on in our lives. She moved out of town and happens to know my oldest brother in law. She knew a lot about me via my cousin who went to high school with her (which is how I heard about her mother). The friend who came with me updated her on her life. We did the right thing by going. It is important to go to make a shiva call to people even if you are afraid that they will not remember you or you don’t know them so well. I think I will try to make more of an effort to go to people as it does help.

Purim

Purim.
So I am a few days late, but don’t think I haven’t tried. As usual, blogger has some issues with my posting and doesn’t let me post when I want to. I never seem to learn my lesson, I just continue doing it the same way and get frustrated when it doesn’t work. I should know better…I should do things differently, but I don’t want to.

My daughter dressed up in her costume from last year (mental note, buy her a new costume next year) a kallah or as she said Queen Esther. She loved it. We got her a new tiara, a Barbie one (only one in the store) and it was pink. Didn’t go so well with her white gown, but she loved it so much. I guess that was the point. My son was all excited to be a clown. I borrowed a costume for him and he couldn’t wait for Purim to be a clown. Purim morning showed up, and he got himself dressed in a bob-the-builder shirt and refused to put on the clown costume. Nope. NO costume for him. The baby wore a costume once we settled at home for the seudah. Adorable.

We delivered shaloch manos starting at 9:45 am. We came home at 11:30 to heat up the food and made sure to start on time. We had the seudah at home. One party showed up before twelve. He was careful to wash before shkiah. My husband kept on telling me to go home and he will go with the kids and his friend and continue, and I should go home and finish for the seudah. I didn’t listen. I should have. The food wasn’t HOT for the seudah, but it was warm. Slowly the others trickled in. we started. We didn’t wait for the last couple, and they finally showed up at 1:15, but they are excused, she just made a bris on Wednesday, and has two other boys under the age three. Everyone enjoyed. The kids were sneaking in and raiding the shaloch manos that we brought in from the car and hid under the table. After so many times, I just gave them their own pails of shaloch manos that I prepared for all the kids who came. They didn’t bother with real food. They just ate the junk food.

I ran out at three, to go hear megilah. A great read. I packed audience. Apparently, there were lots of ladies who found the time at Three PM on a Friday Purim to walk out of their house and go hear megilah. It was very nice. I saw my ex-sister in laws sister there and avoided her. I do not know if she knows me or not, but I hope to never have to befriend her. Meaning if her son is the same age as mine, she goes to the other school. I don’t know where she lives but I see her from afar. I don’t know if she remembers me or not, but we will leave it at that.

After megilah reading I ran home to make chicken for Shabbos and soup. While I was doing that, my husband took the kids to the neighbors with the carriage to carry the shaloch manos. At 4:15 we dared to continue to deliver. My goal was to get rid of all the shaloch manos that I had made. We went around town and did it. We went back to peoples houses who we initially thought were away for Purim/Shabbos but I found out later they were not. My daughter made it to all her local teachers. My son refused to go to one of his teachers. He was just not in the mood. I felt bad. But he did request to give to some friends and teachers. He was really cute when we went inside. But the 4pm run with the kids didn’t turn out so well. All the friends they went to at that hour were taking baths already. By five we were home and had to clean up, and get ready for Shabbos.

The seudah was nice. This was my first time making it. We had 5 couples, 1 single guy and a total of 21 kids plus two infants. Most of the men drank, just enough to make them enjoy and have fun. One wife drank as her husband was driving. It was great. No one got sick. The best when there is drinking involved. I don’t recommend staying home afterwards, as it was so hard to clean up. I didn’t get a chance to completely clean everything up, but now the house is in order. I had a great time and will probably do it again next year.

I am so Happy, I Needed to Share With You

The good and wonderful news. My friend in the accident. Well, he is home now. He is home for Purim until after Shabbos. This is the most wonderful news you can imagine! I spoke to him on the phone. I called and got to hear from him. I can't keep the smile off my face because, this is wonderful news!

Also, and update the fish are still alive and well. I just need to get more fish food for them. I ran out of food last night so I (gulp) fed them (Gulp) breadcrumbs! Must go to pet store and buy them yummy fish food!

My shaloch manos' are done. I keep making a list and keep adding more names but not any more packages. Oh well. I don't know what I will do. As usual, I always end up with a few extras. I am halfway done with the cooking for the seudah, as I am having a total of 21 people and two babies. Of the 21, there are 11 adults. The rest are kids ranging from 1.5-12 years old. Need to find something that will keep the older ones entertained and not bored.

Right now I am at work and hungry. But will survive. Hope I get to hear megilla on time otherwise my fast will just be a bit longer...

I posted once about my friend who was in the car accident. B"H he is doing better and is in rehab already! I can't believe it. Here was a man who has been so through so much and his family thought it was all going to end. BH it didn't and he is rehab for a week already. He is doing so nicely from what I hear.

I wanted to send his family shaloch manos. I have this problem. I think great plans, but sometimes it doesn't get to happen for whatever reason. This great plan was to have my family chip in and send the shaloch manos to the kids. Send the kids some candy. After all they have been through, this is what they need. I also met one of the older kids, and I think about him often. I was going to call my cousin in Israel to buy the stuff...I was going to do this. I was going to do that. The key word here is GOING.

I don't have a calling card. I don't have a good plan to Israel. Actually I have a lousy plan that is like $5/minute, so there was no way I was going to call Israel to speak to my cousin, or to speak to my friend. I just couldn't do that to myself or my pocketbook. Sorry. I have good intentions, but not that good. In the end, it all came together.

My friend here mentioned that her parents are going to Israel for Purim. I took in the information, but did nothing about it. Until about a day later when it hit me. Hard. Her parents are going to Israel. THEY can take a package in for me (hopefully). I called her up and begged her to have them take this small bag of goodies. It is for the kids I said. Then I called a very good friend in Brooklyn and asked her to puhleeeeeeeze go shopping for me and spend money on my behalf and drop it off at friends A parents house. All went well. Everyone said yes. Yippee! I have such good friends (now only I need to make sure that I am a good friend to them as well).

So my friend went shopping for me. I trusted her judgment and gave her a budget. She complied and had fun doing it. Not only that, she even went to the store after she did her Purim shopping. What a dedicated friend. Mitzvos! She then went out of her way to drop it off at the people who were going to Israel.

Now all was needed was the phone call to Israel and have a cousin pick up the package and drop it off. Only one little proble. I don't have a calling card to Israel. On my way to work this morning, my brother calls me that the very cousin I want to reach in Israel just called him. He will pick up the package when he gets the phone call. He wanted me to send things for him, but I couldn't as the people who were going said no. I felt bad that I couldn't do my cousin a favor, afterall he is going to do me a favor. But he said he will still take care of my package. Yay! I accomplished what I needed to accomplish.

Now, instead of cooking for the Purim seudah, I am typing here. Oy, what big plans I have, but I am wasting my time. You see, I am making the Purim seudah in my house this year. Usually I go to my mom, but being that it is Friday, I would like to spend Purim where I live and let the kids enjoy it and not be rushed to drive an hour away for the seudah.

So, here I am planning my meal. I am going to be organized this year. I am going to plan what I want to make and make it. I am going to map out the shaloch manos delivery route and make it work this year. I am going to.......
gotta go, onions are burning

Stuff

Update on the Fish. We still have all five of them. They are alive and swimming around and getting bigger...Believe it or not. Thank you very much, to those of you who said they wouldn't last a day or more! Ha ha on you. They are still there and they are just great!

Purim is this week. I am hosting the Purim seudah this year at my house. Usually I go to my mom's house, but being that it is Friday, being that it has been this is our 7th Purim, we decided that we will stay home and not drive ourselves crazy. We are having three other couples with seven kids between them. A single guy, and I am not sure if there is anyone else or not. I hope we know before hand, just so we can have enough chairs. Food I am not worried about.

My son wanted to be a clown for Purim. He wanted the face make-up. But today I am not so sure. We went to the schools carnival and refused to get his face painted. Maybe he was tired, maybe he was overwhelmed like most kids his age were. But they did have a lot of fun there. When we first got there, we met my daughters friend whose mother was volunteering there, so we took her around with us. Then she left and we met up with another friend, this time of my sons, and the girl joined us for the line waiting and ride while her mother went to tend to an older sibling. The kids loved it. Maybe next year I will feel brave enough to have the kids invite a friend to join them for the carnival.

My sister in law volunteered to help out. She called to tell us what happened. She was manning one of the bounce-round jumping action thing, when a lady came over with soda, and somehow managed to spill the entire can of soda all over my sis-in-law's jacket and pocket-book. While cleaning it off, the bouncing action thing started to deflate. She started yelling for all the kids in it to get out. I was laughing when I heard it after knowing that everyone was okay. I think that is the last time she will be volunteering for such things.

Have a Freilichin Purim. No theme this year, as usual! Nothing cute.

Fish

My son went with his class to the Pet store on Thursday. He was learning about sea creatures, so what is the next obvious step? Go to the pet store to see the fish who are sea creatures. What is the next step? Come home with a huge smile all happy and giddy with a brand new pet GOLDFISH! Yup, you read correctly, a goldfish has graced our home. What is the plural of goldfish? Goldfish. So now we have FIVE goldfish or as the kids call them fishies.

I was very excited to hear from my son how his trip to the store went. What brave teachers they are to take such young ones to a pet store! What nerve they have to send a pet home without asking beforehand! But, we survived. He told me all about it. That he went on a bus to the store. He saw the fish and showed me the new addition to the family. He was so happy. I just did not know what to do. So we left it in the bag it came in and hoped his father would figure a new home for the fish. Later on we found a temporary solution of an empty clean marinara jar until I go on Friday and buy a fish bowl and some more fish. I. get. to. go. with. three. kids. after. school. to. the. pet. store. and. buy. more. goldfish. and. fish. products. ME! alone. with. three. kids. I was not a happy camper.

But I figure, if I go to the store and start off small, maybe we can work our way up to an aquarium. I always wanted one. I did. I really did, but never had one. The only pet I would tolerate. But my husband wants a puppy. A small one. I don't think this will be a compromise. We are not going to get a dog in this house! I am afraid of them, no matter what kind. He doesn't think much of fish. So we are even. No fish for me, no puppy for him. In the meantime the kids have the goldfish, in which they forgot about already (I am sure!)

Oh, you should just know....goldfish are very very very cheap!! No wonder they give them out at carnivals!

We Have Lost Another Precious Soul

So I have this friend who finally called me back. I have lost touch with her over time and I wanted to know how things are going with her. It has been about two years since I have last spoken to her and I wanted to make sure things are good. I somehow got a hold of her email address and actually received a response from her.

Life is ok for her. She is looking into a good school, but as of now can't afford it. She has a job that pays decent, or just enough to screw her. She gets too much for her to get free insurance but not enough to actually pay insurance. Tough luck on that. It is hard to know that you make just over the amount, but not really enough to actually afford things.

She moved out of her old apartment and into a new one with her friend. J. He is not Jewish. She is. But, she threw all that away many many years ago, even before I knew her, though while I knew her, she was just faking it. Living the life she needed to based on where she was living. Once she went on her own, that is it, no more lying, no more hiding no more anything. Moving in with her boyfriend who is 7 years older than her.

I was taken aback when she told me this. Why and how did this happen? Did the school systems lose yet another precious soul? Will she return to us when she gets to be older? Have her advisors not been the best advisors for her and supported her when she wanted out of her highschool, they supported her decision and let her do what she wanted. Had that been a smart move? Or would she have survived where she was for the remaining of highschool and then be the same now...All these questions, and no real answer.

I asked her why she couldn't find a Jewish boyfriend to live with and she said, there aren't any normal ones. If he grew up religious and throwing it away now, he is always guilty and you can't live with one. If they didn't grow up religious, there just no where to be found where she lives. She has had a few "religious" boyfriends who decided they don't want to be religious anymore. They just felt guilty, were losers, and had no plans. This guy she said warns her not to mess with her credit like he did when he was younger. Supports her decisions to go to school. Is basically the best boyfriend she has had and is really good for her. But he is not Jewish.


Me being her older acquaintance, what do I do? Do I just let her live her life without encouraging her to return? Do I tell her that what she is doing is wrong? I know and she knows that no one can tell her what to do. That attitude has been with her for a long time, and she has yet to outgrow it. I don't care for her religious advisors with whom she is still in contact with, I think they lost another one but still think they haven't. I feel for her mom, who cannot do much about it since her mom doesn't live anywhere near here. I feel most for my friend whom is still rebelling and doesn't realize about what she is rebelling against.