Yesterday

Tuesday I get a phone call. A classmate of mine just lost her mother and the levayah is at 1. I contemplated what to do. Do I go? Do I just go for a shiva call? I decided that since I am at work already and I haven’t seen her in many years and don’t have much to do with her. And that she was only in grade school with me, I will go make a shiva call to her this week instead of going to the levaya as well, where she will not see me. Her mother was sick for a year and half. Right after they moved to a new place. BH. She wouldn’t have been able to handle the stairs in the old place and the new apartment had an elevator. Hashem watches over us and sends a Refuah before the makah.

I called a friend of mine who went to school with her as well and we made plans to meet and go together. She was afraid that she wouldn’t be recognized or recognize the girl. When we go to the shiva house, she asked me quietly which of the three ladies wearing snoods was her. I recognized her right away. When we got closer our friend nodded her head and said my name. She recognized me right away. My friend asked her if she recognized her as well, and she said her name too. The friend who came with was impressed. After all we graduated high school 15 years ago! I am told that my face is the same and hasn’t changed. This appears to be true when I have people recognize me from when I was very little. I am not sure how to take that.

We talked a little but mostly sat there and listened to a few others talk to her older sister. Her older sister was in my older sisters class (yes, I do have an older sister) and I did send her my sister’s condolences. I got to meet some other girls who were in my sister’s class and one who told me wonderful news. Her sister that was in my class as well just got married a few weeks ago! I was so happy to hear that. Come to think of it, there apparently were a few of us with older siblings. At least four of us had sisters in the same class, meaning they are seven years older than us. The other half of the class were the oldest. Some had a sister a grade or two older and the rest, were in the middle of the family or only child.

As we shmoozed a little there, we got to update her on what is going on in our lives. She moved out of town and happens to know my oldest brother in law. She knew a lot about me via my cousin who went to high school with her (which is how I heard about her mother). The friend who came with me updated her on her life. We did the right thing by going. It is important to go to make a shiva call to people even if you are afraid that they will not remember you or you don’t know them so well. I think I will try to make more of an effort to go to people as it does help.