Head Checks

I don't understand this.

Can someone please explain to me why on earth every institution I deal with wants head checks...And now, only ONE place that is individually run will NOT accept me for playgroup if I do not supply headchecks. I do NOT do head checks. I do not give out ten checks to any place for x amount of dollars that is post dated for the first of each month. I simply do not do it. I grew up that way. I refuse. I wont budge. I hate the idea. It is illegal. It is wrong. It is stupid.

I will pay the first of the month. I have two previous private individuals who can vouch for me. This time it is a no. She has no idea who I am. I told her I will sign a document stating that I will send my child there. It is a no. Everyone is giving head checks. Everyone. Except...Well there is only one other person as of now...But she will give it to her as soon as she arrives from Israel and opens an account here. HEELLLOOO do you get this?!

I told her head checks are illegal. I cannot write out three thousand dollars plus right now knowing that I do not have that money in my account. You are telling me you don't trust me that you will get the money on time? I am telling you I don't trust you to deposit the check on the first of the month and not earlier. How on earth do you balance a checkbook? Am I the only one who balances a checkbook? Am the only one who finds this practice ludicrous?? I mean who is to say that by me giving you ten checks that it guarantees payment? Does that really mean that I have not given you checks from a closed account? Or that they will not bounce, very high? It will cost you money to deposit a bounced check or a check that is drawn on a closed account. It will not cost me money to give you a check from an account that is closed. I feel so mean that I will pay the $30 to do stop payments on all the checks that she wants JUST to prove my point to her! I am so very mad right now.

This playgroup seemed ideal for me. She seemed so nice. Now I am starting to think too much into it. She will not take me if I do not give her head checks. She is paying the teacher and we are paying the one who is having it in her house. There are others who want to join this group, but I have the last spot, until tomorrow night. I cannot and I refuse to give her ten checks. I simply do not give out head checks. I do.not.do.this.thing. I actually believe it or not, balance my check book. Gasp. Yes. I record every deposit and withdrawal that happens, as they come in! I am on top of things. I just do not believe in giving out ten checks to this person and hope that all will be well. The best part she said when I asked her why she is demanding head checks was "to guarantee that your child comes and if not, I still have your checks." Lady, do you hear yourself?! If I want to pull my child out for what ever reason, I will do so and YOU will not keep my money. If I have to pay $30 a check to stop payment on the ten checks that I gave you...Believe you me that will still be cheaper than the 3grand plus that you have in checks.

So where is the logic in all this? Why are schools asking this of us? (yes, my school lives in the ice age and does not accept credit cards). Why are these places demanding that we screw up our accounting systems at home. Give out checks knowing full well that if cashed now they will bounce very very high. Imagine if I give her checks without signing them, and hope she does not realize that until it is too late.

I am mad. I am looking for another full-time playgroup but not sure if they really do exist here for the same price. I just cannot believe how stubborn people are about certain things...And about things that just simply do not make sense!

Where is Yetta

Okay, I tried to go to her site last week...and it is gone...does anyone know why? and how I can reach her?? Yettabettaboo...where youuuuuuuuuuu?

That's It!!!!

I am moving back to Brooklyn!!!!

Tznius

I went to this shiur tonight instead of going out with friends. Nice trade off, ey? It actually wasn't a bad shiur and it had some good strong points brought out. The topic was on self esteem and daughters. Interesting topic I must say.

There are those who feel that in order for them to feel better, they live through their children. If their child does well, we feel good. If someone compliments, our self esteem rises and we feel that we are doing a good job. A few other points were discussed and I will try to recall them.

The last comment made there was regarding tznius. A young women who is also a morah relayed a marvelous story. She needed an idea on how to teach tznius to her students as well as to her own daughters (and sons). She came up with a wonderful idea. She got to class, and she took out a diamond and jewelry. She put it on the table. The girls oohed over it but told morah that she needs to put it in a jewelry box to keep it safe. So she did that (she had a small box for such). Then she took out money and left it on the table. Again, the smart girls told her to put it in her wallet to keep it safe. Lastly she took out lollies. The girls then asked where were the wrappers to keep it clean.

The morah went on to explain her activity. "Kinderlach, one day you will iy"h be carrying the kinderlach of Hakodesh Baruch Hu inside of you. You too should be covered up and protected..." Okay...so maybe you needed to hear it from this young women who spoke so softly and gently. She said that whenever she sees a girl sitting with her feet wide apart and not the proper way, she will take out the jewelry/money/candy etc and the girl will quickly cover up. Granted the girl is First grade or Second. But this is something to think about.

Tznius is an important issue. There are really many different aspects to it and we can focus on the good or rant and rave about the negative side of it. If we make our daughters wear socks and they will complain that it is shmoiling, we need to present the concept to them in a good and positive way so she can understand WHY she is being taught this. The word "it is not nice" is a horrible expression to use. Come up with other reasons why you don't want her to wear that tight fitted shirt.

It wasn't about tznius but it got onto that topic. How do we explain tznius to the girls? How do we explain that there are those in our community who differ from us? That question is a tough one to answer and I will not do so. That is not my point.

We need to realize that the world does not respect women for the most part. There is so much out there that degrade women for no good reason other than being female. Think real hard. When in the corporate world, the female must fight her way through the male world to achieve her goal, while she can be making less than her male counterpart. You go to the cleaners and you are paying more to have your female clothing cleaned, along with your female haircut. You also have the other stuff out there that degrade women. We need to take a stand and say NO MORE.

What is really wrong with having a young girl understand that she should cover up? Explain on her level why she is doing so. Don't say women are degraded in this world so we are making a point. With a positive attitude our daughters will understand on their level and accept what is being requested. Now if we have problems with that...that is another story.

My daughter needs to wear socks this summer. I think she did last year, but was young enough not to realize anything. Now, I am sure she will realize that I don't always wear stockings and will go out without socks. How will I explain to her the difference? I am sure I will come up with a creative answer for her, when asked. I will not make a big deal about it nor will I criticize the camps for asking. Is it bad to say that I am not that level right now and for me going without stockings is not so bad? I want my daughter to be better than me. I also want her to know there are different people out there and it doesn't matter how different they are from you, they can still be good people. I will cross that bridge when I get there.