What can I Say?

With what has been going on lately, I heard even more closely related sad news that hits home and hits harder. A good friend of mine lost a parent right before YomTov. So young she is, so young was the parent. But we are never too old to lose a parent and no matter what age we are it still hurts. It takes time to heal and for the information to seep in and to register. I should know. I have been there.

We don't understand why Hashem has these plans for us. Why does it hurt so much and why now when things are hectic. But then the question is, is there a really good time in life to lose a parent or child or friend? Are we ever prepared to sit shiva or be Menachem Avel a friend or relative? NO mater how old the person who has passed on was? I think not. I think that no matter how young or old, it is always a shock and it hurts us to think about it. Also, what hurts us?

Why don't we look at it as the person is in a better place and is not suffering anymore? Doesn't that make us feel better? Aren't we supposed to be happy that they are in shamayim and in the Olam HaEmes? Are we really prepared to say goodbye to our loved ones without notice? We all know that Hashem has put us on this world for a certain number of years and to accomplish things...who knows how long that is for. And therefore, every day is a gift. But do we honestly look at life that way?

The week before I received a phone call that a cousin came home to say goodbye to his family. It was sad to hear the news, but he was almost 87. But he was YOUNG! His older brother is BH a young 92 year old, and his own twin brother is a young 87 year old. So why him? Why now? Yes, he lived a long life, but is it really that long?? It doesn't seem like it when we feel that there should be more.

Why is it that we feel know what is good for us? We feel we know better than was planned with the Planner. Can we really accept the information we receive and say Boruch Dayan HaEmes and really mean it? IT hurts! We cry. We cry for the meis, we cry for ourselves! Who are we really crying for? Life is funny. We never really know what is going to happen, we just keep planning and hope Hashem helps us and agrees with our plans! We don't know what will happen tomorrow or why things happen to us the way they did. We don't understand. At some point my friend will understand the reasons and answers of "why? why now?" One day she will. I did.