Favors

Asking a favor from people is never easy nor fun. Especially those who actually keep track of the favor and expect "an eye for an eye" return. Don't get me wrong. I do favors for people and ask for them as well. I have a few that I don't feel the need nor do they make me feel that I must return it exactly for them. I try to pay back my favors as well, but sometimes it is just not possible. Sometimes it is just annoying to deal with people as well.

I needed a favor from someone who I am relatively close with. So, I called her up, and told her the scenario, and she was so accommodating. Sure she will do the favor for me, but I will return the favor to her when it is at her convenient. DING DONG. The warning bell just went off, though I chose to ignore it. I owe her a favor. What is the big deal? Inconvenient for me? Messes with my work schedule? Big deal. It was hard for her to do what I asked for, but she did it for me. No complaints.

As I was speaking to her this week, and mentioned that I might be going somewhere earlier than planned, she was wondering if by chance, NOT to call in the favor, but if I was going anyway can I do her a favor, because I am going anyway and it is not out of my way. But she is saving the returned favor that I owe for another time when it is more suitable for her. WHAT THE @#$%^& is this? Please explain this to me! When you do a favor for a friend, are you really keeping track to see whether or not she repaid your favor at your convenient making it a harder obligation than it really is? Is it really even stevens? Mine are usually not. If I ask for a favor I see if the other person can do it. If someone owes me the favor, when they offer to do the favor, I accept, and not demand it, or bank it. I just don't get it.

She had the audacity to ask me to do something as a "you are going anyway, so it is not the favor that you owe me because that I will use when it will be convenient for me and not you, but since you are going, be a pal and do this for me, scott free." I don't owe you anything for this, because you are going anyway. Because of that, I am so not interested in doing it for her. I am so interested in being mean and want to stop the relationship we have going on because, frankly, I don't like it. Not one little bit.

Please tell me, my dear loyal readers, that you are a true friend. That when you do a favor for someone, and even if you did it as an exchange-a-favor favor, you will not really hold the other person to it. And if you do request the pay back favor, it is as their convenient and not just yours. And if they do owe you a favor, you don't ask for them to do something for you that is on their way, but remind them again, that what they are doing is NOT the favor they owe you, but just a token of friendship, because of course they would do the same for you...NOT.

Keeping ones word is very important. I am going to keep mine. I will also know when to offer a favor and when I have the right to be not nice and say No. This is one of those times. It really is "it's all in the way you phrase it". Had she phrased it differently, I probably would have done the nonfavor, token thing and forget about it. But since it phrased in such a way...I am going to keep score. Actually, come to think of it, I have one on her and she has not realized it, or maybe she has, but thinks that it is all coming to her.

Thanks for the venting season. We hope to have a better one tomorrow.