To Party or Not to Party, That is the Question

I just finished with my daughters sixth birthday party.

I had a little bump when I first sent out invitations, but that see to have cleared up.

After speaking with a few other mothers, I wonder..."is it wrong to make a birthday party every year for my daughter/kids?"

What is the real reason why we make a birthday party for our kids? What do we gain? How much does it cost us? I really do not understand why it is frowned upon to have a party. I was actually told, that by third or fourth grade, the girls thinks it is pathetic that the mother still makes a party for the girl. I don't know how much of that I buy into.

I am not sure why the mothers seem so against it, or rather, have this negative attitude. Is it because it is an additional expense, that they cannot afford? Or do not want to afford? Do they think it is silly? Or perhaps it is bothersome to entertain so many little kids at one time for no real purpose.

I am not sure I agree with any of those. One can make a party for little money if planned right. If I had spent some time to figure things out, I could have made the party cheaper but I didn't vest that much time and energy into it. I had some misgivings about having it all, but after speaking to a friend who said, "I had a friend who had birthday parties every year, we all want it, but didn't have it" and it made me think, "why not do it for her?" I am also not the only one making another party this year, so what is the grief? What is with the comments?! Yes, I am a brave brave mother, who has had 24+ six year girls at my house for two hours. Look at me. I survived too.

My daughter has some really good girls in her class. I even called one mother up to tell her what her daughter had said to me on her way to her car. "Thank you for having me, and thanks for letting me play and stay..." She was genuine. She was the real thing. She thought about thanking the hostess more so than the birthday girl thanking her for the gift and coming.

Another girl was really upset about missing the party, as her mother told her she must go to a family simcha instead. She then had this wonderful idea. "If I cannot go to the birthday party, can we at least drop off a birthday pressent for her before we go to the other simcha?" These are SIX years old girls.

My daughter had some friends come to the party who are not in her class, but she knows them from camp, or other places. She played with all the girls who came and ran around with them like every one else. Every once in a while, I would notice a girl off to the side, feeling sad and alone. I would try to talk to her, but she would just shy away and looked like she was hiding her tears. I then promtly called my daughter over...and told her to go look for the girl. A minute later, I would see two girls running with smiles on their faces, one being my daughter, and one being the girl who was sad. This has happened a few times. A good friend she is. Now I see what the teachers mean when they say she is there for others, and a good friend to them. In her unassuming ways, she manages to enlighten others.

We are done for birthday parties this year. We did one in June, One begining of October, and one at the end of October. That is all. I guess I am the party planner, and never the party girl.