Live Life to the Fullest and Don't Forget to Love
A good friend (albeit much older than I) lost her mother over yom tov. Right after the second Seder, her very ill mother was niftira. She got the phone call. And then the police came to tell her. Then she went to the funeral home to do shmira all night and the next day. Luckily for her, she knew on Friday that the time was imminent and made all the preparations before Yom Tov, and didn't have the news sprung upon her.
I knew her mother as I have seen her numerous times. I actually visited her in the nursing home once. We went shopping together too. Even back then the early stages of Alzheimer’s kicked in. What a horrible disease. What a horrible feeling for the children who are so dedicated to their parents and not to have them know who they are. What a horrible way to go. You learn so much in life, gain so much knowledge and then to have it slowly slip your mind until you barely remember your own name. Until you are back to an infant stage of life and having others feed you and take care of your needs for you. Gone is your independence. Gone is the respect that you had demanded. Gone is the respect you worked hard for and deserved. You are put in your place. God took over and is showing who is really in control.
To live a full life and then to go backwards and still know what is going on is a horrible feeling for the person. Imagine if you know what is going on but yet you realize you are missing some social skills that seem to have gotten lost. But you are aware that you are different. You are aware that you are going down hill. You fight so hard for your independent. You do not want to lose it. You do not want to live in that black box that you see others living in. Where they are sitting in a chair in their own little world. You fight to do things your way. You fight to live on your own. You do not want to surrender, but slowly and surely you realize that it is a useless fight. You give in, but still as stubborn as ever, you blame the kids. You pick on your own children who in reality are doing the best they can in the situation. They too are hurt and confused. The role of the parent reversed. They are now their parents’ parent. They need to look and take care another child who fluctuates between being a child to being an adult and a parent. One needs to be careful and it makes life very hard on everyone.
Going to a shiva house makes you rethink your life and see things differently. You see people differently, and it also makes you take a good look at your life and make sure you are living your life to the fullest and making the most of it and with the people you care about and love.
Hamakom Yenachim Eschem Bsoch Shaar Avlei Tzyon Byerushalayim.
May we only hear of simchas from one another.
I knew her mother as I have seen her numerous times. I actually visited her in the nursing home once. We went shopping together too. Even back then the early stages of Alzheimer’s kicked in. What a horrible disease. What a horrible feeling for the children who are so dedicated to their parents and not to have them know who they are. What a horrible way to go. You learn so much in life, gain so much knowledge and then to have it slowly slip your mind until you barely remember your own name. Until you are back to an infant stage of life and having others feed you and take care of your needs for you. Gone is your independence. Gone is the respect that you had demanded. Gone is the respect you worked hard for and deserved. You are put in your place. God took over and is showing who is really in control.
To live a full life and then to go backwards and still know what is going on is a horrible feeling for the person. Imagine if you know what is going on but yet you realize you are missing some social skills that seem to have gotten lost. But you are aware that you are different. You are aware that you are going down hill. You fight so hard for your independent. You do not want to lose it. You do not want to live in that black box that you see others living in. Where they are sitting in a chair in their own little world. You fight to do things your way. You fight to live on your own. You do not want to surrender, but slowly and surely you realize that it is a useless fight. You give in, but still as stubborn as ever, you blame the kids. You pick on your own children who in reality are doing the best they can in the situation. They too are hurt and confused. The role of the parent reversed. They are now their parents’ parent. They need to look and take care another child who fluctuates between being a child to being an adult and a parent. One needs to be careful and it makes life very hard on everyone.
Going to a shiva house makes you rethink your life and see things differently. You see people differently, and it also makes you take a good look at your life and make sure you are living your life to the fullest and making the most of it and with the people you care about and love.
Hamakom Yenachim Eschem Bsoch Shaar Avlei Tzyon Byerushalayim.
May we only hear of simchas from one another.
posted by ifuncused at 5/06/2005 10:05:00 AM
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