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November 3, 2004
Striking Matches: Star-K Partnering with Shadchanim
The newest member of the Star-K “family” will not bear the familiar Star-K logo - not on a label, not on a plumba. In fact, this reflects the uniqueness of our non-profit lay organization, and, perhaps, explains our essence. Yes, milk and meat matters are only a part of Star-K’s commitment in serving the kosher consumer the world over. However, research and education of all “non-edible” mitzvos, from shatnes to Sabbath mode appliances, is a priority at Star-K, as well.The mitzvah of marriage, sparking a “kosher match”, and providing an incentive for shadchanim, is the newest focus of Star-K. Attempting to do its part to alleviate the universal singles “crisis” the American Orthodox community is experiencing, Star-K is offering a $2,000 cash “gift” for the successful shidduchim of women in Baltimore’s Orthodox community - Star-K’s hometown. This is an additional incentive, on top of the customary shadchanus from the parents of the choson and kallah. According to Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, Rabbinic Administrator of the Star-K, “The concept of offering monetary incentives to promote shidduchim is sanctioned by Chazal” (See Rosh, Kedushin 30b, paragraph 43).The ProblemIf you are a single woman, or the parents of daughters, chances are you, better than anyone, understand the problem. The eligible bachelor seems to have a long list of potential marriage partners. The eligible bachelorette sits patiently by the telephone, hoping that it will ring with a suggestion of a possible suitor. As the telltale saying goes in shadchanus: “A boy needs a secretary, a girl needs an agent.”There are various theories as to why this problem exists. Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that the singles population is getting larger and older. Thousands of single Jewish women, of all ages, who are shomrei Torah and mitzvos, are finding it difficult to find a suitable match. There are many single observant Jewish women in Baltimore, whose numbers are on the increase. A significant number of divorcees and widows, contribute to these statistics, as well.National organizations, such as the Agudath Israel of America and the National Council of Young Israel, have long recognized the worsening problem, which is contributing to the emotional pain of our singles. Agudath Israel of America, together with N’Shei Agudath Israel, addressed this issue at the annual National Agudah Convention, in establishing the New York based shidduch agency, Invei Hagefen. Similarly, since 2001, the National Council of Young Israel initiated an annual Shidduchim conference for singles, marrieds, parents, and, matchmakers to help tackle the challenge. Other Orthodox organizations have recognized the crisis and are doing their part by introducing programs that facilitate the matchmaking process.Star-K’s ContributionThe Star-K is attempting to help remedy the Baltimore singles situation, which is typical of that in Orthodox communities throughout the United States. It is offering the $2,000 cash incentive for a period of one year, to anyone who successfully arranges a shidduch for a woman in Baltimore’s Orthodox community. Star-K hopes that b’ezras Hashem, its gift will act as a dual incentive: for professional shadchanim, worldwide, to put Baltimore women on the top of their singles lists, and for “would-be shadchanim” and acquaintances to keep Baltimore women in mind.
According to Dr. Avrom Pollak, President of Star-K, “What we are hoping to accomplish is to get anyone--living in any community--who knows a Baltimore single woman, to make that extra effort in arranging an introduction with a suitable eligible man.”
For the shadchan of a successful shidduch to qualify for this gift, the following conditions apply:
The single woman must be at least 22-years and 2-months old at the time the engagement is announced. There is no upper age limit.
Widows and divorcees are included.
The couple must be committed to observing the laws of kashrus, Shabbos, and taharas hamishpacha.
Parents, grandparents, children, siblings, sibling-in-laws, and aunts and uncles of the single women are not eligible for the gift. Cousins and other relatives who arrange a shidduch are eligible.
A Baltimore woman is defined as:
Her parents must have lived in Baltimore for one year and have purchased a house there, or have rented a dwelling there for two years. If she lives in Baltimore alone, without family, she must have lived in Baltimore for two years (student years do not count).
A Baltimorean living in New York or elsewhere, for less than two years, whose parents are presently living in Baltimore, is eligible.
Requests for payment of the Star-K gift must be made, in writing, by the shadchan to Star-K (122 Slade Avenue, Suite 300, Baltimore, MD, 21208), within 30 days of the engagement. Both sets of parents, or both the choson and kallah, must confirm who the shadchan or shadchanim are.
If more than one person was involved in the introduction of the couple, the $2,000 award will be divided amongst the parties according to traditional guidelines. For example, if one person thought of the idea and asked a professional to arrange it, the one who thought of it gets 1/3 of the shadchanus and the professional gets 2/3 of the shadchanus.
If the shidduch breaks up, chas v’shalom, before the wedding, Star-K is exempt from paying the gift.
Payment of the gift will be made by Star-K within 30 days after the chasana.
The initial introduction of the couple (i.e., the first meeting of the couple) must not have been made prior to the starting date of this program, the first night of Chanukah, 5765 (December 7, 2004).
All disputes, e.g., who is the shadchan, questions regarding eligibility, etc., will be settled by Star-K Rabbinic Administrator, Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, shlita, whose decision will be final.
“Although Star-K is initially funding this program for a one year period, we hope that it will be successful and that we will have the funding to continue,” says Dr. Pollak. “We also hope that Star-K will serve as an inspiration for organizations or individuals in other “out-of-town” communities to launch similar programs.”
Questions regarding this program should be forwarded to the Star-K office:122 Slade Avenue, Suite 300, Baltimore, Maryland 21208Telephone: (410) 484-4110. Fax: (410) 653-9294E-mail: shadchan@star-k.org
Striking Matches: Star-K Partnering with Shadchanim
The newest member of the Star-K “family” will not bear the familiar Star-K logo - not on a label, not on a plumba. In fact, this reflects the uniqueness of our non-profit lay organization, and, perhaps, explains our essence. Yes, milk and meat matters are only a part of Star-K’s commitment in serving the kosher consumer the world over. However, research and education of all “non-edible” mitzvos, from shatnes to Sabbath mode appliances, is a priority at Star-K, as well.The mitzvah of marriage, sparking a “kosher match”, and providing an incentive for shadchanim, is the newest focus of Star-K. Attempting to do its part to alleviate the universal singles “crisis” the American Orthodox community is experiencing, Star-K is offering a $2,000 cash “gift” for the successful shidduchim of women in Baltimore’s Orthodox community - Star-K’s hometown. This is an additional incentive, on top of the customary shadchanus from the parents of the choson and kallah. According to Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, Rabbinic Administrator of the Star-K, “The concept of offering monetary incentives to promote shidduchim is sanctioned by Chazal” (See Rosh, Kedushin 30b, paragraph 43).The ProblemIf you are a single woman, or the parents of daughters, chances are you, better than anyone, understand the problem. The eligible bachelor seems to have a long list of potential marriage partners. The eligible bachelorette sits patiently by the telephone, hoping that it will ring with a suggestion of a possible suitor. As the telltale saying goes in shadchanus: “A boy needs a secretary, a girl needs an agent.”There are various theories as to why this problem exists. Whatever the reasons, the fact remains that the singles population is getting larger and older. Thousands of single Jewish women, of all ages, who are shomrei Torah and mitzvos, are finding it difficult to find a suitable match. There are many single observant Jewish women in Baltimore, whose numbers are on the increase. A significant number of divorcees and widows, contribute to these statistics, as well.National organizations, such as the Agudath Israel of America and the National Council of Young Israel, have long recognized the worsening problem, which is contributing to the emotional pain of our singles. Agudath Israel of America, together with N’Shei Agudath Israel, addressed this issue at the annual National Agudah Convention, in establishing the New York based shidduch agency, Invei Hagefen. Similarly, since 2001, the National Council of Young Israel initiated an annual Shidduchim conference for singles, marrieds, parents, and, matchmakers to help tackle the challenge. Other Orthodox organizations have recognized the crisis and are doing their part by introducing programs that facilitate the matchmaking process.Star-K’s ContributionThe Star-K is attempting to help remedy the Baltimore singles situation, which is typical of that in Orthodox communities throughout the United States. It is offering the $2,000 cash incentive for a period of one year, to anyone who successfully arranges a shidduch for a woman in Baltimore’s Orthodox community. Star-K hopes that b’ezras Hashem, its gift will act as a dual incentive: for professional shadchanim, worldwide, to put Baltimore women on the top of their singles lists, and for “would-be shadchanim” and acquaintances to keep Baltimore women in mind.
According to Dr. Avrom Pollak, President of Star-K, “What we are hoping to accomplish is to get anyone--living in any community--who knows a Baltimore single woman, to make that extra effort in arranging an introduction with a suitable eligible man.”
For the shadchan of a successful shidduch to qualify for this gift, the following conditions apply:
The single woman must be at least 22-years and 2-months old at the time the engagement is announced. There is no upper age limit.
Widows and divorcees are included.
The couple must be committed to observing the laws of kashrus, Shabbos, and taharas hamishpacha.
Parents, grandparents, children, siblings, sibling-in-laws, and aunts and uncles of the single women are not eligible for the gift. Cousins and other relatives who arrange a shidduch are eligible.
A Baltimore woman is defined as:
Her parents must have lived in Baltimore for one year and have purchased a house there, or have rented a dwelling there for two years. If she lives in Baltimore alone, without family, she must have lived in Baltimore for two years (student years do not count).
A Baltimorean living in New York or elsewhere, for less than two years, whose parents are presently living in Baltimore, is eligible.
Requests for payment of the Star-K gift must be made, in writing, by the shadchan to Star-K (122 Slade Avenue, Suite 300, Baltimore, MD, 21208), within 30 days of the engagement. Both sets of parents, or both the choson and kallah, must confirm who the shadchan or shadchanim are.
If more than one person was involved in the introduction of the couple, the $2,000 award will be divided amongst the parties according to traditional guidelines. For example, if one person thought of the idea and asked a professional to arrange it, the one who thought of it gets 1/3 of the shadchanus and the professional gets 2/3 of the shadchanus.
If the shidduch breaks up, chas v’shalom, before the wedding, Star-K is exempt from paying the gift.
Payment of the gift will be made by Star-K within 30 days after the chasana.
The initial introduction of the couple (i.e., the first meeting of the couple) must not have been made prior to the starting date of this program, the first night of Chanukah, 5765 (December 7, 2004).
All disputes, e.g., who is the shadchan, questions regarding eligibility, etc., will be settled by Star-K Rabbinic Administrator, Rabbi Moshe Heinemann, shlita, whose decision will be final.
“Although Star-K is initially funding this program for a one year period, we hope that it will be successful and that we will have the funding to continue,” says Dr. Pollak. “We also hope that Star-K will serve as an inspiration for organizations or individuals in other “out-of-town” communities to launch similar programs.”
Questions regarding this program should be forwarded to the Star-K office:122 Slade Avenue, Suite 300, Baltimore, Maryland 21208Telephone: (410) 484-4110. Fax: (410) 653-9294E-mail: shadchan@star-k.org
posted by ifuncused at 11/10/2004 10:12:00 AM
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